How to Start Writing a Memoir

To start writing a memoir, pick one theme or one period of your life, write the scenes you remember best in any order, and sort them afterwards. You don’t need the whole story planned first. Everything here is my advice from helping authors, not a rule.

What should my memoir be about?

Pick one theme or one period, not your whole life. A memoir is a slice of a life: the years you spent caring for someone, a move to another country, a business you built, a hard time you came through. If you try to fit in everything, the reader loses the thread, and so do you. If the story is a parent’s rather than yours, see how to turn a parent’s life story into a book.

A simple test: can you finish the sentence “This book is about…” in one line, without using the word “and” more than once? If yes, you have your theme. If not, narrow it. You can write a second book about the rest.

What do I put in and what do I leave out?

Put in the scenes that move the theme forward: the moments where something changed, was decided or went wrong. Leave out what doesn’t serve it, even if it is true and you love it. A reader wants the story you promised, not every year in order.

Leaving something out is not lying. It is editing. If a story matters to your family but not to this book, keep it for another place, such as a private family copy.

How do I start writing?

Start with the scenes you remember best. Write each one as a short scene: where you were, who was there, what was said, what happened. Don’t worry about the order or the opening yet. A first draft is allowed to be rough.

My advice is to write a little each day, even 15 minutes. When you have 15 or 20 scenes, lay them out and see what the book looks like. If you want a method for the writing itself, see how to write a book.

How should I structure a memoir?

There are two common ways. Time order, from the start of your theme to its end, is the simplest and the easiest for a reader to follow. Grouping by theme, where each chapter takes one part of the story across the years, can work well when the story has several strands.

Choose one and stay with it. If you aren’t sure, try both on paper with your list of scenes and see which reads better.

How do I remember the dates and details?

Memory is patchy, so help it:

• Diaries and letters. Your own diaries are a good source for dates and what you felt at the time.
• Photos. They show where you were, who was there and roughly when. Photo files also carry dates.
• Family and friends. Ask someone who was there what they remember. You may get a different version, and you can decide how to handle it.

A memoir is how you remember it. If you aren’t sure of a detail, write it as your memory and don’t invent a precise date or quote.

What about the people in my story?

Many memoirs include family, friends and former partners. Think about each person who is still alive before you publish. I explain the rules and your options in can you write about real people in a book.

What comes after the first draft?

Once the draft is done, you edit it, make a cover and publish. The whole road is in how to self-publish a memoir.

What I do about it

If you want the whole path from first draft to published book in order, my free 12-step self-publishing checklist shows each step so you always know what comes next.

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The checklist is the 12 steps I follow for every book I publish, from choosing a profitable niche with keyword research to setting up the marketing machine. It is free, and you get it straight away.

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